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Here's another yuletide favorite, this time coming from The King of Colchester, ex-head-Cleaner from Venus, "Britain's busiest songsmith, tunesmith and horticultural assassin" and all-round Greatest Living Englishman, Martin Newell, celebrating the "shoe-string saturnalia" of "Christmas in Suburbia", including gallons of "cheap old cherry wine" and bouts of drunken sex . . . now that's what I call Christmas!

Martin Newell - Christmas in Suburbia

PS: Read all about the man (and the Cleaners and just about everything else) in Giles Smith's excellent - and very funny - book "Lost in Music".